Category: Uncategorized

Summer nights always existed
And we dragged behind
The cold breeze never left
We lost our way to it ,
Although we stood on it , yet blind.

And as if blessings never go
And as if forever stood still
And as if you and i and they
Stayed laying down , far away
Looking at the full-sky stars
Up the hill.

And if we stood in the presence of the eternal
What will we say ?
We couldn’t handle ,
The small sands , the few arts , the little lights ,
Just for a day ?

And if i die
Not taking my spirit away
Not flying it
Not setting it running and stray ,
If i die ,
I couldn’t handle then ,
How much beauty there is ,
How much more we’ve yet to see ,
How insignificant , little , poor , unknowingly , incomprehensible, we are
Yet it’s all washed away ,
By a tiny tide of orange clouds
Flowing up ,
Where we dreamed once ,
Where we wonder since ,
Where we wander hence ,
Now and yet .

And now i live for the hope of it all ,
Of a cold summer night ,
Where i was left ,
10 years ago ,
And will never get looked at back ,
And now i live ,
For the hope of my love ,
That i will never reach again ,
That was still tide up ,
In a dark room ,
From a window ,
Inside some boxes ,
Far , beyond , away .

And i live , for the hope that i die ,
Someday , in search of the absolute ,
In dissolving in him , his art , clouds , waves and seas ,
In his suns and sands and flowers and skies ,
In the glimmer of kindness of his people’s eyes .

If i died , in the hopes , that I’d live , somewhere ,
Where i belong ,
Where my heart is good ,
And the memories were lived ,
And my soul did flew ,
And a house was made ,
From chants and screams and laughs and smiles ,

And if in that day we saw ,
The lives of us all ,
I’d be happy that ,
I’ll flow , through a trillion dreams ,
A trillion lives ,
A trillion beauties ,
That i can’t yet know ,
But the gate of heaven seems far now ,
And u live to die to live to die , forever , in the yard , of the loving , the merciful
Of it all.

Ain’t it funny that people in some peaceful well lived countries write horror stories out of boredom,
Here we’re illiterate , no one writes
But at least we live these stories ,
We’re not bored ,
We’re running out of time ,
And if you complain , you’re a bitch ,
If you complain here you’re just wanting a high essential life added to your high quality living ,
Because you just wanna fuck around for the rest of your life ,
While the ones who really struggle who really strive no one hears them
No one fucking sees or cares about their complains .

And I’m not here to speak about anyone ,
I’m only trying to say two or three ,
No one sees you
Weep and you weep alone
Run as much as you want ,
No one sees you ,
Be with and leave how much as you want ,
No one of them will see you ,
Love all and love alone ,
Write , no one will read ,
No one will know how it felt ,
And no one will know how it feels like to smell the fridge at night ,

And when all choose peace and well being ,
You choose struggle because it doesn’t have any meaning anymore to have any sense of good life .

We’re not God’s abandoned children
We’re not his children
He didn’t abandon us ,
The world did ,
And we did , for us.

I’ll go smell the fridge
Out of meaning
And cuss everything
Out of lack of meaning

What if all that is was true from the start ,
And the love of beginnings was all that is ,
True. Pure. Simple. Unknown.
The same way we love all unknown , before we know it ,
Before we know our stand to it ,
Or see ourselves through it ,
Because in the end we don’t like our mirrors , just ourselves , sometimes..

And you look at them , then you forget them ,
Like your first run , your first time putting the earphones , your first fav book , first time living through a teenage dream , first night ride..

What if it’s the only love that existed ,
Then we all loose it , toss it aside , rename it , mix feel it ,
Like we binge watch our fav series then stop at some point , and never continue it ,
Like we throw aside our fav doll , saying we’ll play with it again , then never see it in our lives again ,
Like we just forget that child we thought we’d become ,
And the story you said you’ll write and you’re still waiting ages to do so.

We didn’t fall in love , we fell out of love .

A thousand times , a thousand possibilities , a thousand people ,
It passes on and on and on ,
We catch glimpse of it everytime ,
Then we loose it fast ,
Because we’re unable to hold beauty for too long ,
Because for some they don’t see it ,
And for some it’s too much .

And we screw it ,
When we take it , and throw it at the face of time ,
And throw it at the face of staying for a long time ,
And longing for a long time ,
And fearing the long of time and space and feelings and age and and selves .

What if we lost it forever ,
From the first moment ,
Until the end of times ,
And we leave ourselves their with it , with them , forever .
Because we couldn’t stick to that one possibility ,
And we couldn’t stick to any of the thousand ,
Neither to ourselves ,

All because it was the first second ,
Of love of the beginnings ,
Of a beginning that was so much for us to handle , understand , comprehend ,
Of us , that loved , cried , lost.

I’m tired ,
Of myself ,
And of you ,
And your bullshit that you show
And all the bullshit that i don’t show
Because at least i know it’s not me
And i know that heaven is where i don’t belong
Because i don’t belong to me
And if i ever wanted to run away
And if there js any reason to run away
Its from myself
And all i am
And all i was
And all i will be
And all i could’ve been
And all i couldn’t be

I run ,
To tears and blood ,
To things i want to feel to feel real ,
To real things that don’t exist ,
To existence i can’t see ,
To a vision i can’t reach .

I run away from my dreams,
And fevers and fears,
And screams of a man under a sun,
And screams of a kid that got none..

God take me away so i can be not myself
With no reasons to hide
In this ocean of life
In this ocean of tears
In this ocean of mind

And i know i have a book to fullfill
And i know I’m scared to drive
Between the lines and between the rhymes
And i know i can’t write
Because my hands ain’t even mine
And mind ain’t even right
And my high is so low
And my low is so light
And my light is so faded
In an illusion like a kite
I wanted to fly
All i wanted to fly
My dream was to fly
My dream flew out of sight

We think we comprehend it ,
And we try to make art and movies and music about it ,
And nonsense holidays and nonsense posts ,
And we live a nonsense life trying to make this happen to us ,
It will never be ,
Once i was talking to a therapist and he told me where do i belong ,
I knew but i couldn’t tell it ,
He started stating places but it wasn’t it ,
I didn’t know how to tell where i belong ,
Then at a month a man came ,
And day after day i knew his story ,
He’s alone ,
Not because he’s chosen to ,
But because his only daughter was killed in another country ,
He passes one ,
Like every normal human do ,
As if they’re just ordinary pieces in the society ,
Another day goes on , another month , another times ,
And a women passes ,
She tells me write x and y names ,
And i remember them somewhere ,
I searched on a forum and i told her isn’t (he) him ?
From a depressed shy old lady into a kid that the world couldn’t fit her eyes , she tells me yes ,
The yes that she thought would never come , because she still hadn’t move on from her brother being killed decades ago .

You see the problem with our world is that we think we know what love is , and that we think we truly feel what love is ,
And we go on being the nonsense we are ,
And we try to tell it and to share and to through whatever the lust and heck and shit we want into it to call it love ,
And we make and give food and dinners at streets out of “giving love” ,
And we take another people’s rights or feelings or stuff just because we think we deserve to love them the same as they do ,
And we blame them because we “love” ,
And we kill them too…
And you know ,
Rumi once said :”love is the stranger with the strange language , love is the language that can’t be heard or seen “
And i add , it could be only by pain ,
No one sees the stranger ,
And no one would will recognize the unknown ordinary human passing down the street ,
And the old lady would pass by the same people who killed her brother , the ones who are sharing food on the streets out of ” love “
With no one knowing her except poor old her ,
And we go on ,
Nonsense souls ,
Nonsense holidays ,
Nonsense faith,

all just to blind ourselves from the fact that we don’t know it , and we don’t see anything , and we’re in the face of the dragon we kill the queen , that we don’t love , not even ourselves, love is the lady that knew her brother’s picture was somewhere somehoe out of the world , not only in her bedroom , love is the man walking down the street , not crying because there’s no meaning for him left anymore … –

اخر صورة : بتاريخ ٢٧ تشرين الثاني ٢٠٢١، توفي أخ الشّهيد المظلوم يوسف شميساني (الأول يمينًا) ودفنَ معه في روضة الشهيدين.
يروي حاضرون أنهُ وخلال الدفن كُشف عن جسد الشّهيد يوسف فوجدوه تمامًا بالحالة التي دُفن عليها بعد شهادته يوم ٢٦ تشرين الثاني ١٩٨٨، مظلومًا مع رفيقيه علي صادق ومحمد عُميس (الظاهرَين إلى يسار شميساني).

In these fractions of existence,

Where do i stand ?
Where in this abyss do i stand ?
While solving the abyss of where “i” stands for..

Everyone keeps talking about the spring of tomorrow,
But i find myself not fit into it,
Heck i find myself not fit into everything not even me ,
And if there’s a place ,
Larger than the abyss
Outer of it
Outer of me
Outer of what i can even see
I’ll crave my way into it.

I’ll keep smiling but for how long ?
It’s been 23 now and i just can’t see my way out of 24 ,
And i feel I’ll never see it ,
It’s a short long then ,
So we’ll have some joy a little more..

I wanna be
I wanna crave
I wanna see
Something more , outer , inner , larger , greater , kinder, lighter ,
I wanna be , god i do wanna go,
Reborn
Good
Kind

And since i made the promise for that little kid ,
To crush it all ,
And since the times have swallowed me ,
As much as i gazed into it ,
And since i dreamed to fly;
And since that dream flied..
I’ll fly into it

And god has taught me the meaning of eternity,
And I’m still not grasping it,
And I’m still far away from harvesting it ,
And the soil will turn on ,
Will i turn on into the soil i am ?
Will i ash over the sun ,
That always stayed in our hearts ,
If that kid i bet on is hearing me ,
Will you bet on me ?
Will god be seeing us smiling ?

And a wish whispers tn a morning dawn ,
After a midnight,
Over a window far away,
In sands , and sea , and wind , and leaves ,
In tears ,
In you ,
And me ,
And me want to ride blowing wind
And me wanna be

I wanna be born on the stars of dreams .

Alhamd le allah ❤

This garden is safe garden,
This garden changes you,
And the wind comes once a year,
So the pain end where the sun starts.

And you can’t see the storm that ain’t coming,
And you can’t sense the brightness of the sun,
And you float over an island,
Made for people..
With no humans on board.

And on the background is a dream,
A dream worth sailing too,
But the ship doesn’t exist,
And you’re in the desert.

And the monkeys sang,
To a spaceship in the middle of nowhere ,
With skeletons in its closet,
The closest of an empty spaceship,
Of monkeys and zombies.

And round and round they go,
And round and round you think,
And places to places they see,
And worlds and worlds you hear,
But the racers don’t hear you,
And you see the dream.

And the garden has leaves,
Leaves of insects of feathers and dreams,
And the dreams take you to a flower to a scene,
That change you and whatever life may seem,

The change of games,
And applications and gears,
And soundtracks to come,
And soundtracks yet to come,
And starred messages as cars,
And clouds as wind , as pain as fears,
But you see,
My darling,
This garden is here,
This garden is for you,
The storm and the dream,
This garden is floating,
And this garden is big,
This garden is a garden,
A safe garden it would be.

It’s 10:34 pm
On the rooftop
The music played saturn by sleeping at last
I sit on the edge with all places in sight ,
Except the places i wanna be at,
Except the places i belong to,

I lie my back and open my hands to the sky above , i pray.
It’s truly rare beautiful that we exist,
And it’s truly rare and beautiful to keep it that way ,

And with these toxicating lights ,
Fading lights inside
Social anxieties inside
Social groups
Boxed groups
Boxed places
You search for the garden
The garden of void
Of serenity
Of belonging

And i know that no one will ever no
How i feel when i lay my back
And i feel the infinite edges of a tiny distant galaxy that is insignificant..
And that within all this insignificant I’m still not over that kid 10 yo me , trying to understand even the wonder of the rounded earth and it’s skies…

That kid that used to get up with his grandpa ,
Now he’s gone,
And the others are gone ,
And i cry when i feel like i might actually never ever see them again ,
And if the universe was made to be seen by my eyes,
Their eyes were here too ,
What if it went with them ?

Was the world always like this ?
But we didn’t recognize it when we were young?
Did we wander with wonder only because we didn’t know ?
Can we undo it and wonder with all place to go ?
And are these lost visions of cursed realities really there ? With lost people ? In lost times ?
Will we ever reach there ?
Will we ever be ?

Let’s go aiko

Finite monkeys
In finite forests
In infinite seas
That doesn’t speak
That doesn’t talk
That comprehend
Finite monkeys in incomprehensible way

Infinite light
Comprehend all
What we can and what forest can
And what both can’t

U dream of finite people,
Feeling infinite spaces
You dream of infinite spaces,
Not felt by finite people,
And you dream that someday,
Infinite people meet you in infinite spaces.

For now

In this finite world

Take it all in…

You can never comprehend , see , be in infinite

So take it all in…

Don’t believe what’s in front of you

For your vision is finite

And that the world is too

And that what dwells in it is short seen , if seen

And what is seen dwells in few hearts , in few spaces

Spaces will never be here

So don’t be,
We have a responsibility to not be,
Here , nor there
To be beyond what we think we are
And what we don’t think we are
And a responsibility to know that we’ll always be dust
Even when we break space and time , and good and evil , and reach a garden of serenity,

We are dust,

And we suffer when we try to be something more,

As if we go and run through life and panic to be something as if we are meant to or necessary to achieve something beyond our selves , and there’s no beyond it,
We’re not great
If we tried to look through eternity’s eyes we can never even look ,

Being alive is unseen
Unknown
Strange
Incomprehensible
And short
And there will never be any kind of word or dictionary to explain it.
Being alive is a lone man in a lone universe , so be a lone

To you , myself ,
Would you think of me ?
Would you try ?
Try to be ?
Try to start ? To begin ?
Isn’t it ?
When will you ever learn ?
When will you ever learn to live ?
When will you ever live ?
When will you go over your mental barriers ?
And you mental driven life ?
When will you ever be free of your mind ? Or even heart .
Of this character , these circumstances , this unthankful self , this lying self ,
Change learn change learn change learn ,
Does it matter ?
Are you gonna for once , stick to sth that make you feel worth living for ?
One single thing ?
If you’re not taking care of yourself what are you waiting for
If you’ll never swim how will you catch the wave ,
But i wonder , is there a story ?
Your story ?
Will it happen ? Someday somehow somewhere ?
Do they exist ? Do they ?
Do you ?
Will you ever know ?
Even know god ?
Will you ever fear him ?
Love him ?
While knowing it’s true ?
Will you ever try caring for once , for once , for that little kid still waiting ? Still gazing ?
I’m begging you ,
I know you have no way to know , no way to know how to start , or try , or is there , but you’re gonna blame your past in a distant future like all over again , like always …
Will you take care of your dying heart , aching body , that you’re even locking it to run away from you ?
Will you ever dream a good dream to wake up and find yourself in it ?
Will you ever be freed from all this shit , nonsense , bullshit
In you and everything else
Will you be you ?
Will you not be you ?
Will you will ?
I can’t tell you to find a will , because i know i need to tell you to will to find also ,
And i know I’m throwing these in void ,
And that there’s nothing in your hands , and what if
Could you fight your tears if so ?
Could you now ?
The tears that ain’t coming
And the tears that are ,
And the tears of loving ,
And the tears of every scar ,
The tears of tearing ,
Tearing apart ,
Far .