…

When it’s all ending the same way , everyday , going to sleep just to escape , to fade , to not exist here more , and then repeating this , so you just want this day not to do so , and you’re leaving your dying tired self on this state more because it doesn’t matter anymore , when you start feeling that you’re not numb but everything else is , when you look ridiculously how you had hopes and optimism and things you wanted back from five years and it’s just a big tragic hole that you don’t deserve so you walk up and you stand at the edge of it
The edge of a thin line , a thin line
Between finding sth to live for and to die for
Between finding one simple thing to be happy and killing yourself
Between fading away and being in the middle of the same hard reality
Between finding ease with freedom and getting tired to the point the black holes under your eyes aren’t handling
Between connecting to whom you love and leaving them away
Between finding a reason for what’s happening and thinking of a way out
Between finding home and being homeless

Between being mentally stable and having all your monsters come back
Between never finding a way back and being forever lost , blocked way
Between having a wonderful inner world and a grey void outer one
Between finding no words and finding all meanings
Between goodbye and goodbye

A thin line sticking to my heart and I’m standing effortlessly calmly on it

………

Nvm just a post-loosing all hope times