Category: to post later ?

A dream’s weight

Think about it
1/3 of your life is sleeping
1/3 is in sub consciousness
As for me its like wandering in some other higher dimension
Only to wake up everyday and say to myself , do I have to go there and live that life again ? Every morning ? That physical manifestation we call reality ?
I was watching an anime and in their dreams consisted a point that’s the center of their consciousness
I wondered what’s mine , so I guess it’s multidimensional buildings I keep experiencing in my dreams , where I meet many new people in ..
And as I drive back , as anyone else , back here , and I have to deal with everyone , all these obstacles , and days , I keep saying all day I need to carry that weight , only in day time
At the early morning im not even myself and at night I wonder who I even am
And as im flowing , surviving , struggling through life , I get distracted by many things , like we all got sth that might define us or ease the pain , but many other days I doesn’t .
So here my only escape , or I guess salvation , hope light… whatever is going back , thinking , feeling , or reminding myself in my inner world , the dreams I had , the visions I saw , the people ive been with , and the stories I lived inside , the puzzles I’ve gathered from what I like in the world to build my own
And as I’m trying to understand human behavior and nature the more and more im getting to realize that we’re just mirrors who are carrying our inner world which every single on of us got , due to his interpretation of the world and the way he act uppon it , recieve it , and the energy he emmites.
Each one is carrying it as if it’s eden and he wants to apply it to all humanity , and he gets mad if the way things flaw doesn’t match it so there’s no certain happiness weaving near , we’re carrying our inner world but that’s all we are , we ain’t nothing but them and we reflect them as we go by , and in the end of the day if you lost it , your deep self , even if it’s shit , that’s it your done , and if you try to force it in this third dimension you’re shit too , and if you try to think that all of it came from this dimension and no other one exist, ugh just go get yourself another self , another illusion as the one you have .
We’re just a dream
It all is
Life’s

“I dream . sometimes I think that’s the only right thing to do”

Im zaki
I dunno how much you know me but I dont even know myself , although I love myself and im proud of me , and glad for it , this me is just a character and it’s composed of different personas , I play each according to the situation.
Im 21 , laying in my bed , its late night , night , spring , ramadan , day off , and im already tired , im both lost and found. I have pure ocd, I’m messy , simple , talkative but completely calm , Im a passing wind , I wanna do some cool tattoos and I’m about to break bad , I have faith but no hope , I’m struggling to get a better spiritual journey and

connection to god , and im living many battles inside and outside , but I don’t talk , I live in a world on my own so whatever happens happens , im cold blooded , I’ll break you insane , im manipulative in a way , im the worst enemy for the world and the best hero for you , I wanna burn cities , I wanna read alot of mangas and I really wanna be a writer . I’m good at nothing , not a single specific thing , but not going to care tbh ,I don’t give a shit about looks , I don’t care for the way you eat or behave or breath , if the world is ending im gonna drink a cup of tea and watch it , that’s the person I am , a watcher , a flow that watches things flow ,I’m getting to realize that this outer world is just my exteneded body.
Been a year since im last active on social media and it’s fine , whatever you say or share willnt be remember after 50 years , you are nothing , we’re all shit , we’re all dancing dying bags . the only person I miss is someone whos never gonna be back , and to speak of which im truly in love with many people , just tired of them and tired of trying to care for everyone , I want to go , I want to leave uni , to leave work , to leave friends and family , I want to leave and start an entire peaceful completely another life . I here , feel like , that I’m glad I existed , and went here , I will not be remembered , neither my stories , nor the memories I had , nor all the feelings for anyone , but the universe knows , I might be good or bad or those many types in them , but I love some little stuff in life , stars , fiction , fridge , noodles , classicals , grass , flow of things and im even polyamorous , I want to either live or die , I love angels and rabbits , I want to fly , I carried the weight of worlds , who carried me ? I am the color of dawn , I am the violet in night , I want a way out

I am LRS JAH JAS SM RM IM W

I am Z

to post later ?

A letter to god

Hello dear best friend , my dearest home , all the words I might type or feel you already know , but it’s better to say them all with myself too , you know that I really couldn’t find the time to pray for you today at all , but I mentioned you within myself repeatedly , I’m no longer feeling alone cause I’m sensing you feeling and being with me in whatever the situation and memory is , and I’m glad I’m gonna live forever with this , and I’m glad I’m getting closer to you , and to your compassion . Everyone might be tired , but I’m too alot , beyond my level , I’m still waiting for one single good thing that might happen to me , a single thing I deserve back , and still having patience even though I tried a lot , and gave so much time and feelings and beginnings , and care , I’m still looking for soul touching stuff , even if I’m still in the stage after loosing all hope, just one little thing only , I’m glad im seeing you, I’m glad I’m seeing your love , I’m glad things went this way , even if it’s going through hell , but yeah crazy ig , at the end , all I do is go back tired , down , lost , to you , and you understand me , you accept for whatever and whoever I am and what I do , may all the roads lead back to you , and all that I have are the tears dropping when I call you , I love you

Please help me it’s getting darker and …

to post later ?

Felt existing 💫

It’s gonna take only some hundred years and after that non of this will matter , non of this will be remembered , all the stories and moments you experienced alone or with some company , and it’s just a dot in the vast ocean of the universe’s time , recently Im thinking alot about how the landscape im in changed through the course of history , maybe it was a desert , maybe a jungle , maybe many dinasours fought here , maybe many great men passed here , many people cried , laughed , ran here , and now all gone , all of these stories we’re living will be gone too and all these past lives and legends and generations just passed , and this carries alot of beauty within , it’s a vast wide world , where each atom and living creature in it carries another vast wide world , and I really don’t know how I can take it for understanding all of this , how can I turn all of this interpretation of reality , the flow of things , the flow of people , the flow of societies , the flow of ideas , the flow of stories , the flow of friends , the flow of spirits , the flow of art , the flow of this entire galaxy , into sth that will be remembered for eternity in the great cosmic spirit , we carry unimaginable realms inside , don’t limit yourself , don’t limit your world , you exist now for forever, you were never alone, your stories were and will never be dead , see you forever , it’s just a magnificent dream

to post later ?

بكاء في سؤال

الى اين يجب ان نذهب ، نحن المتجولون في هذه الارض المهدورة سعيا وراء انفسنا الافضل…
الى اين ننتمي ، نحن الذين لم يجدوا سبيلا واحدا يسمى بالوطن
الى من اللجوء ، نحن الذين ارهقنا مرور الجميع ومرورنا معهم حتى باتت مشاعرنا هائمة في بشر هائمين
الى متى الانتظار ، فشمس امالنا هجرتنا عند كوكب متوقف
الى اي قصيدة نسبح ، نحن من سافرنا مع التيار ورقصنا عندما سحبنا
الى ماذا نبحث ، نحن الذين خسروا كل ما اعجبهم قبل ان يعرفوه
الى اين المسير ، نحن الذين لم نعرف في الموهبة سوى المسير
الى ماذا نحدق ، نحن الذين لم نرى الا مجامل الوجود
الى متى سنقف ، نحن الذين شاهدوا شريط الحياة من بعيد بسكوت وملأتهم الدهشة
الى ماذا قلبنا لا يزال ينبض ، ما هو المجهول المحبوب ذاك
الى من نركض ، نحن المجهولون الذين يعبرون كعجوز انبت الخير لقوم وظنوه مسافر سبيل
الى اين نسقط لنستريح ، نحن الذين تم صلبنا من حالاتنا
الى من سوف يزور ذكرياتنا المنسية ، تلك التي عشناها بوحدة
الى ماذا نامل ، نحن من اكلنا هاوية السواد ولم نخرج بعد
الى اين نهرب ، نحن من لم يتبق لنا سوى ظلالنا
الى متى الجواب ، الذي لم نعد نهتم لوجوده
الى من روحنا عبرت كل هذا الفضاء لتسكن في عيونه
الى من يبقى ، نحن من لم يركض لنا أمر او اهتمام
الى اين نذهب ومتى ولما ، نحن من نملك سوى عالمك العميق واحلامك..احلامك

يا الله يا الله يا الله ، باذنك اسمح لي بان أطلب الخلاص من الايام التي ابحث فيها عن المعنى فلا اجد
يا الله دلني اليك وعليك فكل الطرق تنادي باسمك وانا وحدي لا اعلم باي طريق اعبر ، ساعدني فانت وحدك تعلم كم اكره الخيارات ، واخاف على نفسي بان لا اصل اليك ، واخاف على نفسي بان لا اصل اليك ،

يا الله