Author: Zaki Monzer

Yellow dreams of old notebooks,
Life tried to pass by,
Green leaves of childhood autumn,
Life tried to pass by,
Love of youth passed under brown trees,
Life tried to pass by,
Red questions left of answered calls,
Life tried to pass by,
Orange skies kissed the blue cloud,
Life tried to pass by.

Swims in dawn and runs in dusk,
Still not enough,
All the screams for everyone to just shut,
Still not enough,
Thousand mile journey was sitting on the shore,
Still not enough,
Circles of joy and therapies of pain,
Still not enough,
Acceptance to heal and a hundred seasons rolling,
Still not enough.

December books left on everyone’s shelves,
When will we ever learn,
July came in late winter to give another life,
When will we ever learn,
February birthdays came when there’s no one around,
When will we ever learn,
June started a summer night that never ends,
When will we ever learn,
Lost long awaited hope passed in may like all films flash by,
When will we ever learn.

Meaning left a room to hug the sun on our sleeves,
Gone with the wind,
Life is tired to try to pass by,
Gone with the wind,
What is yours still never came to be yet,
Gone with the wind,
Enough love poured from eyes and food,
Gone with the wind,
The sea was found at the palm of praying hands,
Gone with the wind.

Pomegranate days are gone,
Heaven knows we barely look,
At antics of non interactive relationships,
At souvenirs of broken gifts,
But it looks anyways,
It knows us by ours names,
That we hide from,
That we hate others having,
But we live anyway.

We move on , wait,
Till we arrive to the sea,
Till you see your legs on snow there,
Of a winter to the springtime,
Our legs were held by the waves,
Till oceans kept us apart.

We moved on from systems of wars,
To war of systems that didn’t care,
But we didn’t care for our garden anyway,
Never understood it’s planting,
Only never cared-looked, too,
Beside the other dishes,
In the pomegranate days,
We only cared to ask,
What killed reaching all along:
“Who are we planted with at ?”

Can never move on,
The questions were under the sky,
My life ended at track circles,
They never end,
Last life in the universe,
That never end,
Stuck between two states,
Of the many phases of life and death,
That both end,
Stuck in a state of being,
The empire of no being,
All that I’m left being,
Is remenants of memories,
Left on snow,
They’re the light of my life,
They are left without me on the snow..
No time
In no time
No time

I got a memory of snow,
Deep and breakable,
Of my grandparents and kids on carpets,
Can’t do movies of snow,
Because I’m not chasing dreams,
That i have everyday,
Not writing the dreams,
Because i don’t have everyday.

I used to see numbers,
Now suns are parking mid street,
So the snow is over earth’s ground,
But my grandparents aren’t,
And my friends are at the snow,
Where i can’t do movies,
So they act like i don’t see it,
While standing on a sky that isn’t falling,
We can breath now,
We are what’s falling,
Like domino pieces my friend took,
Before life’s sanity fell,
And laughs hide a surreal mind,
Of our being,
Our lies now.

I can’t smile,
Because I’m smiling all the time,
My marathons are on faculties,
My pimples cooked by the sun,
Where my friends sprinted every time,
But not in a clear night’s sky.

I was left,
With marathons on faculties,
I wasn’t lost from my major,
I was right,
I was lost with my major , alone here
So i keep seeking for a sun ray,
In the snow that i watch,
In the snow that throw at the sun that i fight,
A circle of it,
The sun ray in the snow,
While running in circles of track,
Two circles there,
To find a state of being of one.

In heaven there is no sun,
So tomorrow’s another sun-day,
Waking up our faces to face faces,
And many suns on many ways,
And our many ways of being faceless.

An emperial edict for new rivers is set,
Because face-full worlds,
Requires faithfull hands,
Demanding to be clean,
After what our faces had seen.

The empire of the order of the see,
With bishops of the lost memories,
Following rivers,
Following killers ; the mundane,
Running from death,
Drowning their faces,
To be washed,
To be blurred,
By a scene.

There’s a sun in this world,
That hit us,
Because it’s jealous from the sun that shines from our heart,
There’s no sun in heaven,
Because it shines from our hearts,
Because the real one,
Doesn’t shine from the sky,
Nor the east,
And in hell we’ll miss the coldness of the fake sun,
Of this world hitting us since three,
Our faceless faces,
And in heaven we’ll miss the warmth of it,
Beyond trees , on our hands,
That hit our loved ones faces once,
And once again,
The sun standing behind our portraits,
The sun that never asked to be seen once,
For there’s endless balls of it up there,
Yet she tried to reach us,
Hit us,
Pain us,
But faced faithless faces instead.

I lay my head on a smile,
In heaven there is no sun,
As i go to dream vividly,
Not having to think about anything,
In my dreams there’s a sun.

I killed my brother,
Once i prayed at spring,
I never gave hope for myself,
To ever believe in me,
I pray because I’m agnostic.

I’m sorry my brother,
You were never a victim of fate,
Nor us,
Nor them,
I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve taken,
Just because you’re you,
I’m sorry for praying,
Because i wanna run from you,
I run from you,
I run from you,
I’m sorry she left,
The first time she saw you,
I’m so sorry she left, my heart,
You were real,
I’m sorry they left,
They never liked you,
You were real my dear.

It was the city that needed burning,
And all the other cities too,
Except the ones you saw,
That no one ever could,
We’ll blame it on dead,
We’ll blame it on the sun,
You always woke up every morning,
For a thousand years,
You always woke up and weard your skin on,
And it never showed up,
You were left on track,
Skinless on the track,
And and the world that needs burning,
Kept moving in circles,
I ran in circles too,
With the world,
Without you.

Take my hand,
With you on the ground,
So we can never wait for fate again,
Screw it all,
The dusty kingdoms,
The heavenly calls,
The empires of gold.

What a waste of life,
I kept running into what i never thought of,
And i kept stumbling into absolute beauty,
What a waste of life,
Without your eyes,
Brother,
Let’s leave our eyes,
Our legs hate us,
Take me away brother,
As i took you away all this lifetime,
Tear me away , from this fight,
Because now i know who i am,
I’m the one who tries,
Not do , not not does,
I’m inhumanly who tries.

If i died,
Don’t cry on me,
Cry on the room i left behind,
Who did cry on you my eyes??
How did you fall asleep alone?
And beard waiting for another sun?
Another us?
Alone,
All along.

I’m incapable of being human,
Without u
I’m incapable of being inhuman
Because I’ll never be like u
I’m sorry i choked u
In this bubbly world womb,
Come back and wear my skin
Wear me out
Wear me in
I’ve reached a limit
I can’t run further it
I want break my heartbeats further more
I can’t even fathom it.

I can’t pray today
If its for me
In eternity’s river
I don’t want me
I never swam
He never swam
He just spit at them up the tree
I stood beneath
I’m agnostic because i prayed without my brother.

Pretty house in a garden,
Pretty lie in a gather
With no plans to start,
And no trainstations to wait,
With no roads to try,
And no waitings to miss,
No seas on the back grounds,
No fireworks playing,
No owls to see,
No bowls to keep,
Or runs to fake.

Only us , seeing ,
What shouldn’t have been,
Seeing through the banner of our skin,
The banner of the moon,
Our glory days,
Never reached , never run to,
No crowd watched the plays,
Our talents never claimed,
Not by eyes , not by us,
Strange times not led by us
Strange time of our lives,
But through shadows we survive.

Strange times we laugh and cry,
Strange times , black cloudy sky,
We play and wonder why,
Why we wandered ,
The smell of the fridge,
The taste of cherry pi,
Why the skies above,
Are colored with death?
The glass poured down told us she left,
The roots stayed,
So does our days,
Not watered,
Not blessed,
But dug by our will.

To smile, to scream, to try,
Cups of coffee whispered to me:
“The days will end,
No matter how much u drink me”
I held my grandma’s hand because mine is cold,
I held my grandma’s memory,
Because my life is cold,
I held my life with my hands with the cold,
Because i am a contagious disease,
Transmitted through letters,
Written by my hands,
Sent to a warm sea,
In a bottled heartfull memory.

Truth is a dance,
We dare to believe,
We dare to bleed,
We dare to breath , in cold air,
Truth is a deal ,
If you want to be real,
Bleed for something ,
Without a meaning,
Or for us, without a meaning.

Was this chaos or art?
The universe laughs,
It’s just the start,
Of an end,
Your hand is one of a ground,
Existence tumbles,
Restarts like a circus act,
We ask why the banana wears a peel,
Lucky are those who play the play,
Those who appeal,
You have enough space to dissapear,
And if you dont , we’ll blow a supercluster , two or three.

We’ll grow a forrest for you eyes,
Singing,
Hearing, hearing cosmic tree,
Could you hear it from the start?
In the clouds where you wanna sleep?
To lay with no parasyte,
Animals to creap,
You can’t be found,
Stuck or bound,
Only be crowned,
By a dream, so vivid, so haunting , so remembered , so deep.

When you catch,
Two dreamers, in a bubbly sphere,
tracing the stars,
Mapping the silence of realms afar,
And leaving questions unending,
Following a light,
Not turning back,
Not taking a part,
Chasing the echoes of an infinite shameless night,
Remind them,
Of the stars and their starry needs,
Poems they want to chase and ride,
Those they whisper back in the clouds,
Where you sleep,
With high lemon trees,
And coffee,
And coffee beans,
Swimming in winter seas,
Talking is making me feel less me,
More dissolving,
Into one of your backyard trees,
More bleeding,
Like one of your hot coffee pots,
The green fields, movies, cameras,
Mermaids , dagons to seize.

أريد أن أغدو تنيناً،
أحمراً مشوكاً متكئاً على قلعة قرمزية،
مقلداً قصصي البعيدة،
في زمانات الطفولة الضبابية،
ليست وردية ، بل الملتصقة،
في ذاكرة وراثية،
تنبهنا أن لكل جنة ثمن،
ولكل أحلام طفولة ، لا منسية،
أنهار من السعي،
وراء محيطات من الدهشة،
كولد مشى على الماء وقصد،
ما تبقى من عمره ليغرف غرفى،
من تلك المياه ، تحت قدميه،
التي كانت،
قبل أن تتبدد معالم مخالب الهوية،
قبل أن أغدو تنيناً،
دون قدمين تلمعان بمخيلة وسردية،
يطير بين أشجار متطايرة ،
لا يتنفس تحت الماء،
لا يتنفس في السماء،
فقط يسعى،
لكي يغدو،
فقاعات خيال ذو ألوان رمادية،
وعوالم شخص ذو شعر من ألوان عدة ، ممحية .

I started a run,
With no end lines,
Never finished,
Races of no finish lines,
Only i will , i do.

No questions, in the wheat field,
Legs can’t hold more,
Left the puddle,
To lined lights streets.

No answers, in the lined lights streets,
Mind is his spring time,
Left all swimming people,
Wandering at past wheat fields.

I changed,
Mirrors wait for me long now,
As i wait for my hair,
So i could take my time in praying,
For other lined streets,
Blue clouds,
Yellow films,
Green town , black walls,
Uphills , secret cells,
Active ,  blood laughs,
Wedding rooftops , summer nights,
Rascals , reptides , secret tombs,
Distant people , wheat fields
Maybe laying,
Maybe laying,
Of my friend , my friends, remembering me,
It’s happening,
Its happening!!
I wish so..


We might strike a bat of memories,
Another lifetimes in our one might stand,
Will such childhoods happen,
To roll the dice once again?
To see,
Open an eventful call,
Like someone who was chased by someone who opened a door,
In a field,
Of rain,
Of you, and me,
I won’t race you and me,
I’ll run for us,
I’ll take my time to dance in the rain.


I’ll run in the rain,
Races with the universe ,
Between trees, beside seas,
Where i am left alone, without myself,
To spaces on the outside,
Of you and me,
No wins, no you, no me,
Just little infinities,
Between every mile, meter, and lane.


And when the universe does math,
I’ll be done running too,
When he show us,
Those infinities,
Of choices, chances, dimensions, dreams,
I’ll show mine,
Of blood, sweat, tears, spit,
Because I’m racing with the universe,
And I’ll dance and cry on my run,
If he restarts,
I restart a run,
With no end lines,
Never finished

No longer found,
In tears in rain,
The blue cloud whispered,
Then my whole body slept,
On my dry salty face.

Water drops passed beside,
And all the voices fell with it,
Except the ones of our spring.

Some of me took me as me,
Others wondered by,
Where are they?
The ones who were and will?
Get rid of an orange empire,
Trade it with plastic heads town,
Did they , will , feel the blue cloud?
It’s my superpower to make feel.

Nobody entered an exit,
Because i never knew when i first loved winter,
Winter soil,
I’m still looking for the winter – my lover,
So i can’t have a lover now.

It wears me out,
Once i sleep with my entire face,
If i run in morning?
Or run at night?
Under rain,
Under rain,
So i stay awake,
The dark is not taking residents tonight.

Awake heart,
Only fixed part,
With two bridges holding it of thought,
One is the run under a blue cloud,
And a ticket to my shivers,
It wears me out, the ticket,
Weights on my handbag.

I’m just a page unwritten on both notebooks,
The was and will , or is,
A page you needed till they left,
With no exit doors,
Not bearing the art of them, themselves..
That i made of me, our spring,
Looked like a real thing,
Looked like the real thing.

More than a word left unsaid,
The times i was a question to the world,
When the answer could be heard,
Remember me, when i can’t,
That I’m not just a word,
But a page , unwritten , blowing in the wind,
When i ran under a blue cloud, not felt
Between two rain drops,
In a dark night,
And an art film , unsent ,
All gathered, on winter’s soil ground,
All my body, rest on my head,
Entered an exit , reset