I sat with a cat by my side ,
Not because i love her ,
But because they loved her ,
I sat thinking of the difference ,
That i felt between waking up and being asleep ,
Because i don’t feel at all .
The cat in the wind ,
I’m in the wind ,
With the cat , of two different colors ,
I watched two films ,
One about being silent ,
The other about listening ,
They became my coping space ,
Because they left with my songs ,
And now I’m trying to search for a third movie ,
Or thirty kilometers to run .
They are telling me to make a choice ,
The same as like two years ago , or so ,
When i left her ,
I couldn’t make a choice ,
Like now ,
Now I’m writing this because i can’t commit a killing ,
To myself ,
Because god created me this way ,
They tell me why i am like this ,
As if i wished so ,
As if i could know ,
As if i could know ,
As if i could .
My writings were lost ,
My stories were ,
I wondered why ,
The dog ate the poems there too ,
He sat by the river ,
So i sit here by myself ,
My writings were lost ,
Because i am lost ,
And because they are a part of me ,
That doesn’t exist here ,
They were gone , from here ,
And I’m not depressed , down , or it the it ,
I’m simply not ,
I’m simple ,
I wish i was not .
zaki monzer 