Memory is a strange thing ,
U might forget your life but it doesn’t,
Shaky day , even mind ,
I told myself I’ll take a nap ,
I’m not tired ,
I just felt in need for a fictional dream ,
Sometimes i open pinterest inorder to see things so i can dream about them ,
Like a procedure to think of stuff i wanna dive in before sinking in another hole .
It was long , and in the end of it someone was telling me he miss me , he was in a tent , i drew closer , i thought it was my friend i met this week , why would she miss me ? I drew even closer .
All my past year, it’s just in my mind that i didn’t run before that in my life back when i was young and a kid ,
It didn’t happen , i remember that ,
I saw a friend , i knew him but i tried to remember him ,
He was my foreign neighbor when i was a kid , we were good friends , i even forgot his name ,
For over like 5 years i didn’t even think of him once not even it would come across my mind , you know people pass , life passes , so do i ,
Yet why did my mind come up of him in this dream right here ?
We hugged and it was like he traveled and was gonna go again , he told me he was living in a fresh sea country side and it was good , despite here is a city , i told him i envy him , although he came from a close cultured family , i don’t know his whereabouts rn , not even name ,
I didn’t even feel like he’ll stay in that dream even , sometimes that is what your mind wants , for you to only think of yourself , and he’s just a passing character , ncp , today i slammed the door on my cousin’s face , i apologized but i mean , it wasn’t me back then , it was what my mind think of itself , what it wants for itself , If i came back to real life , i know i will never meet him again , and that’s fine by me , i don’t live for that real life.
If it was.
I’ll tell later the left.
People keep telling me why do i write or post or be like that like I’m blue or deep , I’m not , it’s just that if u don’t fit in this world it’s because you are made for another one ,
I don’t know which i do , so i search ,
I read and watch ,
Even many stuff related to memory ,
Like emanon , punpun , horizon , angels egg , american dragon , lain , sonny boy , mushishi , summertine render , berserk, cowboy bebop , and so on endless , all about losing and getting lost , in another worlds and memories and times ,
Heck even my fictional stories end with memory and dreams related stuff , with a world yet forgotten , people yet to be alive…
It’s not blue , and I’m not , it’s dreamy and I’m glad i belong here ,
I’m glad to be like that ,
Your consciousness flows in a dimension that you can’t reach here , and it gives you memories u won’t even remember , like where are they even hidden all this time ? Does god control this state ? Ik it is , but it is… wide
Where do we go we roaming in this wasteland in search for our better selves ?
To our better selves, wherever we left it.
In the end of the dream,
He told me let’s go run again,
I starred at him like angels do while facing infinity.
We used to race when we were kids,
We ran back then,
Even for sprints,
I don’t know where it all went that i didn’t think of it,
I don’t know where it all came from that it came right now,
We used to run.
I’m sure I’m probably not meet him again , he’ll never see or know of this, and even if he doesn’t mean anything to me now,
I know that in another world we’ll run again.
In the end of the dream i came up with my notes to write this down, because i know that won’t last , i wrote all those stuff i did now here down , and then i woke up here , into another dream..
I don’t think this is the real world either ,
I don’t even quite know now that all those memories are real ,
But they exist beside me ,
In this forgotten life ,
And forgotten post ,
And a wandering self .
God sees , god is real.
zaki monzer 