This is a love letter to god ,
The absolute,
I’ve always wanted to set on a journey to find you ,
And know you’re both unreachable and the closest to reach,
But you’re beyond us ,
And I’ve been trying all my life to search for sth beyond me ,
I just was wondering into infinity since the day i realized i existed,
And i went for the pursuit of the absolute,
Through the smell of the fridge at night ,
Through the mother’s tears ,
At the sea at night ,
While floating in river , bed , grass field , track field ,
While waving to the silent kids in the bus who are making a heart shape ,
Through the books I’ve read when i was young ,
And all my favorite movies for no reasons that i recommend for no reason and no one watch ,
Through the pain when the lactate hits you while running ,
In the runner’s high,
While opening our childhood albums ,
And remembering all the beloved ones that have passed , while remembering all the love a heart could pour in a lifetimes and yet still gives more and searches for more places to put it ,
Through a story a manga an anime that taught you the infinite in a scene and you sat there dazzled ,
Through a summer night cold breeze ,
And all the dark times inside the closet ,
And empty building ,
And inside under the rooftop ,
Through a scent you catched but couldn’t quite remember where , maybe at the cinema ,
With the injuries of when you were just a little rascal,
While mourning for a loved one that left this life ,
While feeling the long time you gotta live without him ,
While thinking of all the love martyrs poured to live and die for you god ,
With all the tales that transcended space and time and us ,
Transcended us..
Like our childhood shows ,
And games too ,
And when your grandma made you food ,
The smell of it ,
The morning of eid ,
The love letters left inside a drawer ,
Alongside your grandpas newspapers ,
While listening to classical music and a girl singing a deep melody ,
In empty spaces ,
And empty night where you were alone ,
Through prayers when you just leave all this dimension underneath and maybe just , feel ,
When we feel , truly ,
A leaf of a tree ,
And a bunch of ants passing ,
The edge of the stars that will never end , with you knowing it’s just set in a very very very dark empty place in this universe , with all your memories , and tears and joy , that will all be lost in time , through all the times you’ve ran in the rain and all the times you loved to see someone under the rain , and a the endless infinite love you could think to give but don’t know where , and all the places you could’ve visit but don’t know where to start and a the things you could do , and the paths you could take and the memories you don’t know where to collect , to the space cowboys waving through millions of stars away , to all the strangers you meet and you feel you’ve lived with them before and the people in your dreams you ran at eternity’s gate with , yet you wake up to another dream , you can’t fathom but only layers of layers of alternate world , build upon your light god , i hope that I’m drifting to you when even knowing what i stands for is the least i can’t do , but I’m on my way , through tears fears pain blood sweat spit and a heart , literally a heart , hehe , see you forever , with love
zaki monzer 