I used to sit on the edge
I was that kid
Alone
And I’m still here
Standing on the edge
But I’m not him
I’m looking for him
Alone
I can still sense an existential crisis
Of how small
How big
How incomprehensible
And how nothing will be known
How it will all be so so big
Beyond expression
I am still looking for that kid
Standing on the rope of this world
Watching life
Gazing at unseen beauty
And i still can’t express what he saw
And never will
And you know amidst all this unknowing
And that we’re finite
And that this world will all be gone someday
And all the ants and all the flowers and all the times you felt alive while swimming in waters
And all the times you smelled the fridge and counted steps and you cried
And amidst all these people going and going even you going and going
Amidst this big numbers of choices and humans and places and times and memories that can’t be grasped,
I grasped, in love
That’s the only thing left
Only thing i can do
I can see
With all the pain
And suffering
And the things i don’t like
And the hole left behind
And the kid left behind
I can love ,
Only , everly , ever , forever.
All these moments will be lost in time and so am i,
And so will be the feelings reflected on that kid’s eyes..
And all the paintings you’ve loved
And all those who screamed, in joy , in terror ..
And i know its not the end,
It’s the end of the beginning,
And it’s so infinite,
God you’re so infinite and this world is so big and i just can’t but to tear down and break out in love ,
For the sake of this all ,
Truly life should be lived to the point of tears ,
Expect for me, it should be lived to the point of finding that kid,
And except for that it should seen to the point of tears,
I’m slowly drifting to you god , a million ways , while staring, everything is calling me a billion light years away from you , I’m on my way , with that kid , with love , I’m on , I’m on..
zaki monzer 