I’m trying for sometime to understand a notion about the absolute, infinite, god , and it’s still very hard to reach there because everytime i wanna get closer to it,
It’s beyond me ,
It’s in a higher plane of existence i can’t reach rn ,
And it’s hard with these feelings and body and mind to be able to rush there,
Even if sometimes i get there for some seconds,
It’s like a dream that you see once in a lifetime,
Or feelings that won’t happen again,
As childhood first timers,
And thoughts that you flesh into while praying ,
And when you finish the prayer you don’t understand what where they or how it ended fastly because you simply weren’t there , it’s something of knowing and feeling and touching things you won’t reach in the here and now and you .
I’ll try to write it down for now .
You can’t reach the absolute while having the nice walk ,
Without the blood and tears and pain and blood ,
You won’t ever ,
Without suffering ,being heartbroken and lost and losing , you and others and everything ,
And surrendering to the absolute isn’t just a nice meditation ,
It’s twirling with the storm of existence while you can’t holding yourself but giving your all to god , maybe that’s islam .
There’s no pleasures and joys and peace and orgasms of plasmas and psychedelics to be the pursuit ,
And i guess I’ve said it that i no longer find any meaning in them all anymore , nor in anything that has no suffering , with things that are just easy and pleasant and there and its fine to be there..
There’s a hell to run,
There’s a heart that lost and it’s fine to be that way because it’s only possible to reach love truly by it ,
Maybe while i run i reach time’s while I’m there , sprinting in the track and i feel , like there’s no ceiling , there’s a feeling about the sky that i won’t ever reach and go at without the pain of running and exhausting every breath in u,
And it’s like you’ve never seen before..
And you’re here , being here , running with your heads up , and you’re just touching this for this single moment of “it” and you’re already whole..
If you wanna flow you’ll just be above the river , you won’t reach the worldy worlds inside without diving effortfully.
مَا أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْكَ الْقُرْآنَ لِتَشْقَى
إِلاَّ تَذْكِرَةً لِّمَن يَخْشَى
تَنزِيلا مِّمَّنْ خَلَقَ الأَرْضَ وَالسَّمَاوَاتِ الْعُلَى
الرَّحْمَنُ عَلَى الْعَرْشِ اسْتَوَى
لَهُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الأَرْضِ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا وَمَا تَحْتَ الثَّرَى
وَإِن تَجْهَرْ بِالْقَوْلِ فَإِنَّهُ يَعْلَمُ السِّرَّ وَأَخْفَى
اللَّهُ لا إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ لَهُ الأَسْمَاء الْحُسْنَى
وَهَلْ أَتَاكَ حَدِيثُ مُوسَى
إِذْ رَأَى نَارًا فَقَالَ لِأَهْلِهِ امْكُثُوا إِنِّي آنَسْتُ نَارًا لَّعَلِّي آتِيكُم مِّنْهَا بِقَبَسٍ أَوْ أَجِدُ عَلَى النَّارِ هُدًى
فَلَمَّا أَتَاهَا نُودِي يَا مُوسَى
إِنِّي أَنَا رَبُّكَ فَاخْلَعْ نَعْلَيْكَ إِنَّكَ بِالْوَادِ الْمُقَدَّسِ طُوًى
وَأَنَا اخْتَرْتُكَ فَاسْتَمِعْ لِمَا يُوحَى
إِنَّنِي أَنَا اللَّهُ لا إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنَا فَاعْبُدْنِي وَأَقِمِ الصَّلاةَ لِذِكْرِي
إِنَّ السَّاعَةَ آتِيَةٌ أَكَادُ أُخْفِيهَا لِتُجْزَى كُلُّ نَفْسٍ بِمَا تَسْعَى
فَلاَ يَصُدَّنَّكَ عَنْهَا مَنْ لاَ يُؤْمِنُ بِهَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ فَتَرْدَى
zaki monzer 