We wondered what it could be
Like the realization of you for the same time
There’s the realization of the better you , of her , for the first time too
And once it hits you , it hits
You become so distant from the fact that you’re together ,
More into the fact that you’re each other ,
Until you’re not ,
Not even yourself .
They say we give meaning to what we want in what we understand ,
I say love could never be given any kind of meaning ,
It doesn’t count ,
It can’t be sensed ,
It’s just a matter thrown into the wind of a loudy town .
And you go by trying to spray all the other colors ,
And you go by trying to merge these worlds ,
To feel like you were both in the same space , the same place , and you belonged there..
Even though no one does now ,
Not even you belong to your own world ,
Or hers ,
But to that lost empty space of her , that she left too , like you do everyday ,
And i wonder what do i do ,
Should’ve done ,
Had to..
I wonder if any eco still goes there even though i might never know ,
It’s a ghost shell , a ghost closet , a ghost town of memories and feelings and mental places of self and selves.
And i wonder if i was ever capable of loving ,
When i know i can’t withstand anything ,
But why i devoted myself for it ,
When everyone devoted themselves for the spring of time ,
The irony is that i flower in solitude while it gets pretty grey outside.
I wonder sometimes ,
Sometimes is as all my life , i do.
What kind of happy ending should have been ,
Of smiling , being , running together ,
Over a sunset beach ,
Over the mountain dawn ,
Then i know ,
It’s not written to me to be ever ,
A self reflecting self of a self reflecting other ,
That I’ll always weep and suffer ,
That my love story will be incomplete , will and is a sad story , like no other ,
My love story is heartbreaking , sad ,
Was were forever.
zaki monzer 