5 years and a step have passed ,
The dr walked into the room ,
Filled with strangers yet to become strangers ,
Where do you see yourself 5 years away ?
He asked the typical cliche nonsense question..
“Happy” i said , only i said..
And it’s done since then ,
I’m still at the shore i went down to,
I’m grateful for a world lived way beyond everyone could see,
But I’m far away way beyond to be called happy.
If i ever learned a thing through the eyes of time ,
It’s the application of meaning..
I no longer see meaning through the happy,
I no longer see the meaning to make a sense of it,
Way beyond wishing for it,
Don’t get me wrong,
I’m way over despair,
Not in it, in the maze of it ,
Of surpassing life,
Of forgetting who i was ,
What i did ,
How i loved ,
How i acted when i dreamed ,
How i was supposed to act when i dreamed.
If u could see ,
Through the edges of time ,
Through the whole of the sun ,
Into eternity’s gate ,
Would you run away ?
Would you ask it ?
Would you ever know ?
What if heaven smiled ?
What if she mocked you trying to be happy ?
What if you’ll be happy ?
What was written before what is written ?
Would you ever know what you were supposed to be ?
Were you ever supposed to know what you’ll be ?
Who are you if you could’ve been anything ? Anyone ?
And you still can ,
But you ain’t no one ,
You’re not here .
Not anywhere.
Not in eternity .
I’m not happy ,
I’m it ,
The void ,
The night , space , vagabond ,
Floating through the vision of god ,
You’re gonna carry that weight , space cowboy..
zaki monzer 