I feel like flower in forest
My eyes come together and see my nose , it look big nose
I breath with nose and notice something blocking airflow
Must be a booger
I check with my fingers and pull out joyful spirits
This aint even butterflies nor a flower
Screaming poems , screaming poems rushs and rolls deep within
I wont go back as long and talk about childhood , ill just say that by the time i started to use sm ,i didnt get the idea out of it , how people are truly using it , and how they behave and act and think , so i used to post and share whatever like whataver i want and feel too whenever i wanted i was just playing through the world within my eyes , then after i saw the community and society i was in and its ways of viewing life and viewing how they capture and describe it through this medium , my usage and interpretation for it changed too , and later on affected the way i view stuff , before i wake up .
And i think this apply for most of us throught our childhood and by starting or teen years ,we just view stuff without idiologies , without values , without opinions , without questioning yes or no , without throwing ourselves in positions or masks and without trying to place ourselves in outer shelves .
We were just a pure unknowing soul that used to swim in the truth , in the deeper self where logic doesnt exist and where she knew that the world was truly a play …
Why did the collective outer consciousness just change the way we flaw and be and dance and express or why we allowed it?…
I used to walk on a thin line between life and death and now i walk on a thin line on the edge of the abyss
And i know its filled in a wonder sense of things that i might feel while falling
And i know i left the entire world to step here
And i know that many signs are telling me to jump cause theres it
Whatever it is
And that its not if i gaze ,im gazing at it , and its gazing at my soul
And maybe ill fall and die , or get reincarnated , or resurrected , or really be alive
Maybe ill find my home down there
And i know its only a step
And i know that the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek but this is a goddamn freakish abyss just imagine whatll it even hold
And sooner or later ill take that leap
Of faith
And of awe
But im just bubbling now some thoughts while waiting as im standing here
Maybe theres nothing
But i was meant to take it
To go there
To find the world through it
And to find everything
Having a deja vu rn so ill see you there
Ill be there
All of us might be struggling nowadays, stressed out , battling fear , searching for sth, a goal, place , whatever brings one happiness, even just not being into anything at all , or going through hardships , so whoever you meet in your day , try to be good and kind with him , speak from the heart , your family , close ones , or even a stranger , cause we all need this and you don’t know what the other person might be going through , a small act of kindness and a true act of selflessness always sparks another ,it will turn back to you , and before all be nice to yourself and love it , treat and speak to yourself softly , life is a dream that is (worth) not being serious , mad at , or stressed for
-the art pic is about kyrgyzstan’s culture , it fits with beethoven 6th symphony pastoral 💜
*ps: I’m not trying to be nice or anything , you might see me as a toxic or a good person it’s your perspective in the end , see you again have a wonderful time ❤❤
I feel like , i aint bipolar
But im either at home and peace
Or im sad to the extent that my inner worlds would burst and willnt take it anymore
Alghough i know that well meet
Somewhere i know exist
Someday that is just steps away
Somehow if it means by death or reserrection or some another trip
Somtimes sth pissed me of and i can tolerate it completey whatever is the situation
But someone would jump out me to punch whoever whatever went shit
I dont want even to be happy
Im fine of where im at and i dont want recognition
But i urge to , sth is telling me , and i dont know why
That i want to stand up a bridge or a tower , open that goddamn gate , and invade the entire world with my nation of spirits , creatures , or whatever you may call it , i dont know why they cant take it
Although theyre laying there in the shadows too all over the world and helping out many things
Long live 212
Blessed live 212
Back in my normal days i used to apply whatever metaphysical thing or extraordinary senses i got in my dream as a possible super power i wouldve in real life.
So i thought i could jump and fly for like high distances .
I used to love red skins so i thought i had some sort of a thormal energy power inside of me
And that my core was made up of multidimentional intersected buildings
I sometimes dream of places and i really dont know if i saw them in real life
I used to write about witches because i thought i was one.
But as it turned out that thought was just an act of expression that was yet to come of things to come
And im glad they did
Im glad that some people came and took me and i discovered all these magics i had and im glad that i went through a drift to such magnificent alternate things
Im not where i want to be
But its better of where i was
But ive made it so far and came a long way till here
The way my life changed in a year is incredible
And the way i evolved completely daily is insane
Its like i was stuck and in dark
I made a hundred memory
I created around 20+stories and lived in them
Read many mangas that changed my life
Animes that defined me
Been closer to people i love
Fixed my father and family issues
Got a greater closer relation to god and to understanding the way things are and what is reality and the self
Tattoos
Music that defined my life
Back to my college and studying tracks
Removing all that drawns me down
And most importantly
I ran away from all what made my life miserable
I read and finished the quraan twice and i started memorizing it
Became more fit
Evolved meditational process , a better peaceful process
Redemption in my mental state
A great one piece journey
Met , been with , and left alot of people
Found lots i love
Been with my homies
Got New belongings
Got over fear
Been hell alot to further places and nature
Been reborn
For real as im moving worlds do move with me , its not a good life and i passed through tragedies , i am the storm and im attracting many great things to come , im proud of myself and if i keep moving like this…. oh boy
I aint at home , home is where im going .
“Enter the hero, enter the hero, enter the hero”
Those werent just words or mutterings
It was a way of flying
It was a secret door to a greater hallway inside the self
One time one of my brothers asked me if just wearing a red cape made me a hero , huhh , hell yeah , i could fly , and they couldnt even after i showed them how
I guess it comes to one’s own core after all , and we go on trying to reach sth , trying to be sth we’re not and go distract away from this core until we are nothing so we call it back again
Its not what we choose to wear or put or call on ourselves , its if we were ever worthy enough to claim it on or for ourselves
A sos for the self
A sos to save it all
I used to wake up and say welcome to the physical manifistation that is this world
I used to think i live double lives
In double worlds
And that i merge and be a king like through one then go back to struggle in the other
And i used to call the first a home
And that whatever happens its a dream and im gonna go there back , to the real reality
I started reffering to myself as “we” cause theres many of us living as this person and this body , im not a specific someone
And whenever i pray and go through the pronouns ” اياك نعبد ، واياك نستعين، اهدنا “
Its like not only reffering to the faithfull people as a whole but as the lots of off-worldly people living inside and i took it personally.
Now im not aware of things but im aware that , i dont only live in two , i go through multi , theres not only one world i dive into ,but multiple reality layers and when i see/watch/hear/meet/feel things in what we call this world and that reminds me of what ive experienced elsewhere, its just a mirror and a reminder of things and a duplicate of them , idk if plato went deeper to this extent where he made out his theory centuries ago , but im not alone.
The limits of my world were just my pencil case
I knew one road or two
But i only struggled with school
Collecting pens and the set turned out to collecting my imaginary friends
They were like 40 or so
My dad used to yell about how much i collect and use stuff
While the arabic teacher used to yell at his daughter for only carrying one or two pens only with her
Winter days and the carpets were the geometric scale of my home
God knows how many years ive spent there
And if i ever came out
The center of my universe was big
And the border was the darkness under my bed
I used to believe theres a ghost there but i didnt see it
When i grew up whenever i say i wanna go home i only know that that was it for a fact
And that the monster inside my bed were only my imaginary friends from the past that still longs to me
The ghosts we see are only our past souls
zaki monzer 