It will pass Even if you feel you’re not these Even if the sturggle will carry on to the sun Even if you feel that time is stuck in a long vivid dream Even if you feel the uncertainty of dying Even if you feel that you’ve seen it all Watched all Heard all And all left now is standing on the abyss of an unknown infinite future Feeling it will end the next second It will pass
No matter if you struggled for three thousand years Or lost everyone you love Or even loved , passed through , lived All that it could pass And passed through unlived lives It will pass
With the feelings stuck in this place With the here and now we didn’t get And the things you wished you’d get but didn’t With these circles of round buildings surrounding your sense of time You will pass
Whenever you understand that its not meant Not written Not deserved For you And you run Without thinking you’ll pass it It will before you know it Just run It will with you Like all the dreams you carry with you everyday from your sleep And that it might eventually pass some day and be one
I always say i don’t know if i do That i carry my heaven with me Because as you see Carrying heaven is sth i always have doubts about But carrying hell is sth I’m certain of for sure. I’m feeling distant not in space, Nor in personal feelings,nor people, But im feeling distant as of this world as a whole. I don’t think that , with all the connections to it, That i still have interest of it, And not reclaiming any spiritual path, But reclaiming a lost in a clear path.
I understand it all I don’t feel it all I dont think any of it all is standing beside me Or having interest in me And so goes here I’m not even sad I’m just calm I’m just praying for patience and that I’ll always sip my hot cup of tea When people ask me how are you I’ll just ignore the question Because i dont understand it Or that i understand it that its just a human concept And i can’t accept it I dont believe it I dont want to fit my self and my mind that is truggling all the time to leave man-made concept to act upon it And i have no obligation whatsoever to accept any of it Even if i have to die You see I might live in hell here With fear here But I’m the most human being that is devoted to face his shadows That is surrendering completely for a sake of a long distant unkown unseen place and self far beyond himself Far beyond this human understanding And fitting And seeing And trying to be You know when i struggle i dont nag or get upset Maybe that’s just who i am If i was build upon fear If my mind isnt just rotating in a single direction If im always fighting for unseen things Maybe that’s why i should always believe that heaven is still with me Will always be Alone And that’s why I’ll reach it Alone Without explaining it Without sharing it Without letting anyone understand it Because I’m the most fearful person on the planet And also the most fearless one And i know i can’t let anyone come with me because no one can or try. And i know no one is ready to throw all his life and relations and personal pursuings and paths and this whole goddamn world like me .
Taking the path to heaven through miles of clouded hell With you and god only, This is all for you god , only.
In times where the world was swinging between calmness and chaos , When you don’t know if you still have time to stand or to sit again , Or who to get or who to trust Or what the strings of fate might be deciding.. I was told by prophecy to go to the pond , there lies a great warrior , the mightiest of all.. and all across my journey was all creatures and children of mud . They were all fragile, small , tiny , silly , loud , dumb , and they were all running and jumping and preparing for the knockout stages , i mean there’s no way even they’ll find a team to get qualified. I watched them for days yet still i didn’t figure out what was making them joyful that much..they’re going straight to there their deaths! I came across a little redhead girl who was dumping her entire head under the waters of a river , she stayed for an hour or so , and a group of kids where watching her and counting ber time. -“are you thinking of ways to exit this life?” I asked ,”you know one can’t drain himself all by himself if he’s trying to cut the oxygen from his head” Her hands went up and she just gave me a sign that i don’t think had any meaning , then she pulled herself up , i thought she’s gonna pant or breath fastly but she was just talking deep cool normals breaths.. ” the river was talking to me” she responded ” it’s preparing me to the grand battle”. -“And why does the river wants to talk to you even, or how will you even pass the qualifiers in the first place , you know there are warlords , watchers , warriors and mad men of every known or unkown species gonna be fighting to the end of times there right ? Not just dead kids brawling” I turned my back and started walking away. -“i was open to the possibility that it wants to talk to me , and I’m open to the possibility that I’m gonna win , one isn’t limited to one way of being great , to find himself in something far beyond and greater than himself, even something he can’t even comprehend “ -“and if so why should it have to happen?” I responded sarcastically. -“Because God Loves Joy” She stood on a rock, raised her hands up , smiled , and pushed herself backwards and splashed in the waters…
I laid on bed like a corpse Like I’m being thrown at the sea I got up because my family can’t shut up And its soo loud I stood up and looked at the mirror “Do i have to go through this again ? ” The face said The sound got louder and louder that my image in the mirror was shaking I opened the door and went outside Only to see a cat standing by the door “Who are you ?” I asked “Am i supposed to be anyone ? “The cat responded “Then why are you here ?” “I heard you want to run from the mirror , but I’m only going to the sea..” “Can i lay down there ?” And so we ran and ran But the cat was always faster than me So we went highway And the roads were all clossed And a marathon was being held I always wanted to run Should i run or should i lay down ? A girl with glasses approached me , ” do you want to participate?” She asked directly I didn’t know what to answer , but since I’m already chasing the cat i wrote my name down I never cared about the race , nor the people racing beside me , the fact that i always felt like that… that I’m just a blurry mirror in the flow of people They ran , and i ran , and we did And soon enough i was near sea side , and since I’m there with no one ahead of my sight , then i was the winner They gave me the prize , but i just wanted to catch the cat So then i shouted why not make a bargain “Hey Mr cat , give me yourself and I’ll give you the prize “ The cat always cared for running so she loved the prize And i turned into a cat-man wandering on the sea I was always alone Until i stumbled by a bunch of people throwing a corpse at the sea I looked at them but the sun was hitting their faces , so all i saw was a shaking light , like the one i saw in the mirror earlier at the morning “And who are you ?” They asked “Am i supposed to be anyone ?” The cat-man responded…
“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in” You know at most This qoute comes to my mind whenever i love Whenever im loved Whenever i pass by someone i love And the truth is there’s alot And i lived with alot But in the end i just drive by at night and hear “memoir” And i think how i can’t take it All these lives unlived And people loved And thoughts i only carry Of many who’re gonna be just a passing wind after decades Loved but not remembered So i keep telling myself that all it matter is now and that is the purpose But sometimes u feel like my purpose is to live through others , inside others , to carry them and not be carried To fill myself as a puzzle that holds everyone Do you know whom ? The entire universe I couldnt take it But no one said i should take it So i’m not taking it And i’m taking one
“There’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other They’re just two normal people”
I used to have imaginary friends I used to dream about imaginary friends I used to live with imaginary friends And i went on to find myself then And i couldn’t So i searched in books and movies and series And i couldn’t So i searched in people But i couldn’t So i searched in the world So i could But i couldn’t find the world So i searched in god But i couldn’t find myself But i could find it That it wasn’t myself And that i could go on and state a hundred A thousand maybe Characteristics in me Thoughts in me Talents in me But i wasn’t me I wasn’t those thousand things I wasn’t all the crap of the world I wasn’t everything , nor nothing And that those imaginary friends Were all a side of me Each one at a time And i didn’t create them They were what someone should call i And in those stories i lived with them In the end They all died In the end Except one The only one whose searching for the end here
Im not where i want to be But its better of where i was But ive made it so far and came a long way till here The way my life changed in a year is incredible And the way i evolved completely daily is insane Its like i was stuck and in dark I made a hundred memory I created around 20+stories and lived in them Read many mangas that changed my life Animes that defined me Been closer to people i love Fixed my father and family issues Got a greater closer relation to god and to understanding the way things are and what is reality and the self Tattoos Music that defined my life Back to my college and studying tracks Removing all that drawns me down And most importantly I ran away from all what made my life miserable I read and finished the quraan twice and i started memorizing it Became more fit Evolved meditational process , a better peaceful process Redemption in my mental state A great one piece journey Met , been with , and left alot of people Found lots i love Been with my homies Got New belongings Got over fear Been hell alot to further places and nature Been reborn For real as im moving worlds do move with me , its not a good life and i passed through tragedies , i am the storm and im attracting many great things to come , im proud of myself and if i keep moving like this…. oh boy I aint at home , home is where im going .
I’m at work sitting outside , thats a complete useless fact that neithor you or I need to know , I always considered that law of attraction could work with me in certain situations and maybe I’m not reaching stuff I want because.. I’m really doing nothing beneficial , all im doing is just a lie , im even being unfair with doing this nothing , what’s fair ? At day I see all the examples of corruption in society happening in front of me. And at night I just gaze and wait for the parking spot to be empty , to just be there with the empty street , rn there’s one car and two motorcycles left . What’s fair ? How can we be fair ? Righteous ? Wrong doing or right doing ? Do they mean anything or it’s all human created concepts ? Like time , that is all just a flow , sun up and sun down , measured scale flow over and over and over again… I saw birds flying today , running in circles , no one was leading in them , but they were just rotating together like , naturally , calmly , and I guess that’s the way humans should have been trying to reach , but we move alot , we cause noise alot , and even tho it’s noisy , it’s chaos , but in real it isn’t , it’s toooo calm , we do realize that , but we ignore it , because well , sometimes quiet is violent , we don’t like chaos surrounding the path of paths , that which we’re looking for , o path of dreams o path of thy happiness , it’s all a lie. Yes you wasting every second of the human definition for certain flows in existence called time , right now , just while reading these words admit it , you’re not fully happy because you still hasn’t come to the realization that there’s nothing called happiness , it’s just you and mirrors here , will always be that way , and you can choose to pump some chemicals into your veins or not whenever you want with whoever you want at whatever event happening or whatever going on , and wait what’s a dream ? Let me tell you honestly , I’m truly planning to sell my dream right now , for the same reason im doing the nothing at this “work” , just to try to survive to “live” in this fucked up place where we’re all just lost , misleading , and just dragged into it , just not going with the “flow” , and I’m feeling this “alive” just as the wind is hitting my skin rn , good cold breeze . I thought that my dream was to play certain compositions on the violin , only to realize after getting a violin that my dream is only to listen to these compositions , please if you consider me close , good , bad , toxic or whoever I am to you , just let that last sentence sink deep in within , there’s nothing called a dream but only what we’re calling “life” , we , we are nothing but a dream , it doesn’t matter if I play or listen or sing the composition even. It’s the same , same perception for beauty that will get you same feelings to make you fulfilled , to let you pleased , to let you think you’re either living , or living , we’re just in this bubble of thoughts and feelings here. We created , and we like to create , all these tragedies and mad stuff even, we like them , even if they’re making our or others lives miserable , even if we’re making the world a worser place , because even tho , tragedy and hope makes us feel more “alive” , and we’re being created , through every fucking nonsense in this modern era , we like that also , so what is sane ? Are we sane ? Is someone in particular ? True definition for it ? Please enlighten me , or it’s just that we’re like all other creatures but we like to think otherwise , we might be even below , we don’t flow , modernity has failed us , life was given to us millions of years , how could we tell if we lived it truly , if we did anything that defines it , life , where were we ? What’s about this dream ? What’s a dream ? Do I wanna know the answers ? Who am I , no no , who was I ? You know I’ve always considered myself to be referred to as someone calm , bacause im so calm , deeply inside im surpassing my limits everyday in being calm , and I’m so cold blooded , even if not all “times” because I’m just a lost definition too who has many called characters definition , I’m too talkative sometimes, and other times I use sign language , so if the world only consisted of humans as same as me , like me , it would be really very silent , calm , lazy kind of world , nothing will ever be done and that sake of one’s person , family, and humanity would never even exist , did it even exist ? For now, all I guess that I know is , I like my childhood picture where I had a calm kind of face (mirror) , I like having a family of mine rn , there’s two cars left infront of me , a young girl living near my workplace glazes and looks at me non-stop too much , and that the wind is good now . Are these things enough if known to be called “alive” ?
Yesterday I had a dream about my genie , it was all dark and a light came from my heart , he came from this light and said purely :
‘Im you’re genie from the lamp of your heart ,and ive come here to give you only three wishes that can change your reality , would you order and get them ? -yess , I said eventually ‘genie : go ahead -first thing is that I wish my dreams come true so I can change the world , find my true inner self and be the best version of it Second I wish for my family and friends to get a happy life they want and find there true self Third I wish the world turn into a better peaceful place where everyone can live and love with each other again ‘hmmm , how generous , no one might get to wish these things if he only get some wishes , mostly others would wish to have lots of money and travel and be wealthy and famous
yess but I dont value these things , I value what lasts forever , the love of the little things you do and people around you , and living memories in a peaceful planet , in the end only kindness matters , and you , what do you value ? ‘ its a good question , since im part of one’s being , I value bliss and freedom for my person’s heart.
and how can someone reach this ? ‘by giving up -to what ‘ by surrending to what you really love , you see when you fall in sth you believe things gonna be okay , so they’ll just come , just let go and flow with your vibration to them and the things you love will eventually come to you , and youll find your happiness then and finding what you’re searching for -and how I can flow ? ‘ everything is energy and flows , yet energy cant be created or destroyed , it only can be transformed , so it is the act of choosing your thoughts of what you really need , not what you think you need , and get these thoughts to the same frequency of it , be true to yourself and flow .
so by this way I can reach what I desire without needing your wishes ‘ totally true , true magic lies within the self yet people still refuse to believe , even in the outer one ,its all out there , believe and have the will to discover it so it will guide you home. -I see now , then ill go in this way . But before I let you go , why did you guide me for this now ? ‘you wished to find yourself , I gave you the key , go within it
I will , and ill set you free for you deserve this freedom too ‘and that’s how we can also have a peaceful world -by finding our gift and giving it away , which is the purpose of the self ‘you sure can do what I told you ?
im crazy sure from deep within ‘You will then, see you forever love -see you forever love
I woke up with the wind howling outside , and the sun was shining…from my heart.
zaki monzer 