I dreamed about a thousand way to be dead I went through a thousand way to be dead… But non of them happened I dreamed about a thousand way to be alive I went through a thousand way to be alive… But non of them happened I happened And went through
I might not be good at anything at all, But i am good, And I’m seeing everything. I might not be going places, But I’m going worlds. I might not be seen, But i see everyone. I’m proud of myself here, I hope you realize when you see this person in the pic that it’s you more than it’s me. We are alive.
“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in” You know at most This qoute comes to my mind whenever i love Whenever im loved Whenever i pass by someone i love And the truth is there’s alot And i lived with alot But in the end i just drive by at night and hear “memoir” And i think how i can’t take it All these lives unlived And people loved And thoughts i only carry Of many who’re gonna be just a passing wind after decades Loved but not remembered So i keep telling myself that all it matter is now and that is the purpose But sometimes u feel like my purpose is to live through others , inside others , to carry them and not be carried To fill myself as a puzzle that holds everyone Do you know whom ? The entire universe I couldnt take it But no one said i should take it So i’m not taking it And i’m taking one
“There’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other They’re just two normal people”
I used to have imaginary friends I used to dream about imaginary friends I used to live with imaginary friends And i went on to find myself then And i couldn’t So i searched in books and movies and series And i couldn’t So i searched in people But i couldn’t So i searched in the world So i could But i couldn’t find the world So i searched in god But i couldn’t find myself But i could find it That it wasn’t myself And that i could go on and state a hundred A thousand maybe Characteristics in me Thoughts in me Talents in me But i wasn’t me I wasn’t those thousand things I wasn’t all the crap of the world I wasn’t everything , nor nothing And that those imaginary friends Were all a side of me Each one at a time And i didn’t create them They were what someone should call i And in those stories i lived with them In the end They all died In the end Except one The only one whose searching for the end here
The world appointed me as the devil now , While i’m just a hopeless boy wanting to see the entire world , And i can’t get past the couche’s arm Im glad zake didnt live to see the misery that’s me right now , And sometimes i think how shitty i am for being glad that lizy died , Glad because this fact made my life more tragic.. While zypher was appointed as a king that went on and quit already. My summoned friends are conquering the universe rn and i think ima is killing few so rn And i dont think she’ll meet jane anytime soon but i hope in this heck of a world one reunion like that would happen. I’m just sitting in the heart of the silence And i can hear the screams of miramai from a planet’s distance And wheres joy’s ? Im actually worried about rei , sofie , and anna , they would be actually planning on killing me rn So Jack , are you pleased for watching from above how broken we are rn ? I dont even know if they can reach me , i mean , i even can’t get out. I wonder how the world seems like nowadays And what’s the weather outside , I’m not in the buttom of the forrest but the forrest swallowed me And doris is probably hacking through the multiverse in order to check it here ; Heck a war in the islands is being brought up just how can being an introvert no one see turn by breaking bad into this mega self recognized event himself ? Lucy is hanging by the sea of corps Rose is fixing a dimensional tree Star is surfing through space layers … sometimes i envy her. Winnie is trying to find the last light left in the world , that which , he cant even see himself There’s a room where the light won’t find you And that room is even outside my empire Of dirt You can have it all giblo , And all my family even tough they’re aiming for my head rn , Especially you , alma… The only one that i can’t hear her silence..
” the path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell “ I mightve told many close people about this Maybe posted , or tweeted from before But if you asked about the times i dreamed about it id say over hundred The feeling that runs through the deep core of the mind that even when you cant get up , youll get up because that one certain memory is still a possibility And even if it doesnt exist now , even of i didnt reach it yet , it might be the top reason im alive , im struggling , fighting , and finding a reason to wake up , that in a far future theres still a part of me screaming of happiness And one day itll happen And ill reach there The goosebumps that jumps over my hair tells The angel signs assure it Well run And scream Well jump while singing it The world will be drown in the after math of the war And were just sit in our tree With the light lights And the light chants And when we thought that theres no place to go too And that we had lost our homes And people And well never find it again It was there And we , which never changed , were there And we screamed like its the peak of our lives Like we were the kings of the world and we were just one , one family If you read this you’re invited from now , but be good and fight well Someday , somewhere , somehow Its time to begin , isnt it ?
The thing is I could have went on in living desperately I could have went and joined all those scattered people weaping all around I could have driven my way while shivering as i used too I could have joined these mad cry parties And this sad true way of nagging about life And how miserable it is And how nothing is working out And how its all like stuck and going nowhere fast And that its all bullshit and nothing matters But i didnt Because i met you
Dear nagara , I came back alive with mizuho and others I found the light nozomi once saw and i saw her too ,i found her and i really didnt think itll be anytime soon I felt like the revelation of her still existing is far away in a far awaited future After many space battles And life changing moments And car screaming rides And splitting nations And conquering worlds Yet i was only washing dishes And collecting blankets to hide at And drinking tea for living And still wanting to get out I didnt scream yet Im still questioning if it exists Im not that hero yet and im not seeing a way for the journey to start I didnt reach a higher consciousness not did i transcend I didnt find a way And you know what She came busing in crashing in into my life Im not where i want to be but i met her in a place while im learning so at And im learning to follow Whatever worlds cave inside And waves breath inside No one ever said where or how or when should i meet her Im still feeling devastated to go there But for now its fine for us to be here And it feels good , in fact it feels flying upward water falls We’ll go there , someday For the first time ever i have a hope in someday
I feel like flower in forest My eyes come together and see my nose , it look big nose I breath with nose and notice something blocking airflow Must be a booger I check with my fingers and pull out joyful spirits This aint even butterflies nor a flower Screaming poems , screaming poems rushs and rolls deep within
I wont go back as long and talk about childhood , ill just say that by the time i started to use sm ,i didnt get the idea out of it , how people are truly using it , and how they behave and act and think , so i used to post and share whatever like whataver i want and feel too whenever i wanted i was just playing through the world within my eyes , then after i saw the community and society i was in and its ways of viewing life and viewing how they capture and describe it through this medium , my usage and interpretation for it changed too , and later on affected the way i view stuff , before i wake up . And i think this apply for most of us throught our childhood and by starting or teen years ,we just view stuff without idiologies , without values , without opinions , without questioning yes or no , without throwing ourselves in positions or masks and without trying to place ourselves in outer shelves . We were just a pure unknowing soul that used to swim in the truth , in the deeper self where logic doesnt exist and where she knew that the world was truly a play … Why did the collective outer consciousness just change the way we flaw and be and dance and express or why we allowed it?…
I used to walk on a thin line between life and death and now i walk on a thin line on the edge of the abyss And i know its filled in a wonder sense of things that i might feel while falling And i know i left the entire world to step here And i know that many signs are telling me to jump cause theres it Whatever it is And that its not if i gaze ,im gazing at it , and its gazing at my soul And maybe ill fall and die , or get reincarnated , or resurrected , or really be alive Maybe ill find my home down there And i know its only a step And i know that the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek but this is a goddamn freakish abyss just imagine whatll it even hold And sooner or later ill take that leap Of faith And of awe But im just bubbling now some thoughts while waiting as im standing here Maybe theres nothing But i was meant to take it To go there To find the world through it And to find everything Having a deja vu rn so ill see you there Ill be there
zaki monzer 