God if you can just show me Where in it do i belong And i know it’s up to me But there’s alot of poeple And alot of times And alot of places And alot of stories And i get that i passed through alot And wasn’t alone I know i should’ve probably learned how to live by now But where And if it’s gonna be shown Then when When will i ever learn.. I can’t speak rn And i don’t think there’s a way back To give interest to anything At all All that is I understand it all But I’m not good at it all I’m just a mirror What does a mirror do in a mirror less world ?
I dreamed i was going up building floors , each floor darker than the other and when i reached the rooftop it was utter complete darkness , but i was happy like I’ve reach it all I’m united with the stars that were brighter than ever , then a series of horror events happened and it was terror really , and when they ended the entire scene just turned into a heaven like one with creatures and all . Anyway i don’t think it’s a coincidence but i truly believe that subconsciousness surpasses the barrier of our time and space and that it gives us messages to follow , i woke up to watch a video i intended to about samadhi and they talked about Babel and it meaning the tower to reaching god or the absolute and how it was a metaphor of going stages up and up with losing one self to reach the absolute unkown , with one having to take a leap into the abyss and surrender to it too. So it was the exact call back to the dream with many links of all the events that happened in it to things that were occuring in my reality , and that the path of heaven really runs through miles of clouded hell and for passing that gateless gate that no one can pass , you should become no one . I saw a story about someone who dreamed that he fell into a river and was afraid of it so he woke up completely terrified , just to go and jump into that exact same river irl and have his entire life changing and going into a great adventure and story from there from that step.
You run at sunset The sand the only obstacle The obstacle is the bird And the bird of freedom
She , and lives went away
You cry at modernity The cry from one side You watch from the outside You curse the outside
And they went from two side And you went from a side
She told a promise That no one remember You kept the remember And told no one about her She went away For a call until monday What happened in monday ? A loop to be called
And she went with a headphone A head and a typhoon
And all the sequels Those sunny holes That you all dived into And you only went out to And the night leftovers the sleep that left no one The no one you waited to The wait that you hoped for
And they went to a smile Your smile went with a mountain The mountain was reversed To a past cave to weep to
The call by the wall person The wall that didnt fall To the apocalyse The fall was home And the home is still the bricks of the wall
And so they went by Without an apocalyptic call
By 22 we’ll be alright By 50k or so Where were we in the alright Where are you tho ? Where is all the running And all the youth we told our moms for ? Dear youth can you hear me , Can you let my empire out ? I can’t tell if they stayed with you Or if i’m stuck at the past Dear youth are you stuck with me ? Are you running from the cussing ? The beach meditations The towel long thrown The green field in the eye The cities that weren’t blown ? Are you running ? Of the walks no one ask about ? Or were you running to me The no-one that no one asked for ?
Did i go away too ? you came and didn’t find me ? Then what are these signs That i went to find for ?
Not a call Not a sign Nor an answer Just if i didn’t wake up You didn’t find me where you ran And my city did find me And i didn’t find me That ran past to you Then If not monday If not the mountain Where did all dreams go to ?
If i can really just go back in time I’d forget about legends I’d forget about changing history Or going to great eras that i wished to be at I’d run to my younger kid self Standing at the side corner of the highway looking at the tiny blocks in the ground I’d run and hug him and cry like fuck I’d tell him he’s my hero and how much I’m grateful for having him And that at the end of the day he’s the only one with me He’ll know shit He’d probably start asking some ass question And He’ll know no idea of anything And what i went through Although He would absolutely believe me Because he believe in weird-out of the world-fast cuts-bizzare shit He always thought that this life is just a long-lasting drama play made for him like the trueman show And at the end everyone’s gonna go up and clap for him I wanna tell him that there’s no one There’s really no one Not even him All that ever existed is the blocks he looked at at the side of the road The birds that flew in the playground while everyone’s looking at him The carpet in the bedroom And outside of these are just a man jumping in madmen’s own suffering For trying to give things meaning He’s my hero because he didn’t do anything He didn’t try anything He just enjoyed the world he didn’t know about He just wanted friends to play with He just wanted for atleast someone to stand up and clap And tell him it’s a play And how much he’ll just suffer just to reach that play again You were right You were the infinite and beyond You were that sky i always wanted to fly at And it was only you Fuck everything that’s left in the world after you
If you read this It means you are reading this And you know you that i’m such a sarcastic rotten person But you don’t know me And i don’t know you But i know you And i don’t know myself Okay to give it a try One two three start Im sad And im fine And im not devastated about the future Nor worried But i dont know what to expect then But i know what to expect now Although im devastated in the mean time And i dont know why are you reading this But you might be one of my close people And thats a high probability So here’s a kiss ==》》 a kiss Its hard Although maybe easier than many times in human history And than many places out there But its hard Im writing this because i need a space A space for me That tells me theres some place i still belong to in this world And some people And that whatever might happen i can go to and write and weep and write And i want to live And i want to know myself And god And if there’s a future with who i love And i lived alot But i want it all to stick together I accept myself But im trying to be a better man And i dont want to change the world Nor myself I want peace I used to write when i’m depressed and when life was good Now i’m good but life’s depressing so i’m writing all the time I want to stop writing And to start writing They say live as if there’s no tomorrow I want to sleep as if there’s no tomorrow… In peace
I dreamed about a thousand way to be dead I went through a thousand way to be dead… But non of them happened I dreamed about a thousand way to be alive I went through a thousand way to be alive… But non of them happened I happened And went through
I might not be good at anything at all, But i am good, And I’m seeing everything. I might not be going places, But I’m going worlds. I might not be seen, But i see everyone. I’m proud of myself here, I hope you realize when you see this person in the pic that it’s you more than it’s me. We are alive.
“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in” You know at most This qoute comes to my mind whenever i love Whenever im loved Whenever i pass by someone i love And the truth is there’s alot And i lived with alot But in the end i just drive by at night and hear “memoir” And i think how i can’t take it All these lives unlived And people loved And thoughts i only carry Of many who’re gonna be just a passing wind after decades Loved but not remembered So i keep telling myself that all it matter is now and that is the purpose But sometimes u feel like my purpose is to live through others , inside others , to carry them and not be carried To fill myself as a puzzle that holds everyone Do you know whom ? The entire universe I couldnt take it But no one said i should take it So i’m not taking it And i’m taking one
“There’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other They’re just two normal people”
I used to have imaginary friends I used to dream about imaginary friends I used to live with imaginary friends And i went on to find myself then And i couldn’t So i searched in books and movies and series And i couldn’t So i searched in people But i couldn’t So i searched in the world So i could But i couldn’t find the world So i searched in god But i couldn’t find myself But i could find it That it wasn’t myself And that i could go on and state a hundred A thousand maybe Characteristics in me Thoughts in me Talents in me But i wasn’t me I wasn’t those thousand things I wasn’t all the crap of the world I wasn’t everything , nor nothing And that those imaginary friends Were all a side of me Each one at a time And i didn’t create them They were what someone should call i And in those stories i lived with them In the end They all died In the end Except one The only one whose searching for the end here
The world appointed me as the devil now , While i’m just a hopeless boy wanting to see the entire world , And i can’t get past the couche’s arm Im glad zake didnt live to see the misery that’s me right now , And sometimes i think how shitty i am for being glad that lizy died , Glad because this fact made my life more tragic.. While zypher was appointed as a king that went on and quit already. My summoned friends are conquering the universe rn and i think ima is killing few so rn And i dont think she’ll meet jane anytime soon but i hope in this heck of a world one reunion like that would happen. I’m just sitting in the heart of the silence And i can hear the screams of miramai from a planet’s distance And wheres joy’s ? Im actually worried about rei , sofie , and anna , they would be actually planning on killing me rn So Jack , are you pleased for watching from above how broken we are rn ? I dont even know if they can reach me , i mean , i even can’t get out. I wonder how the world seems like nowadays And what’s the weather outside , I’m not in the buttom of the forrest but the forrest swallowed me And doris is probably hacking through the multiverse in order to check it here ; Heck a war in the islands is being brought up just how can being an introvert no one see turn by breaking bad into this mega self recognized event himself ? Lucy is hanging by the sea of corps Rose is fixing a dimensional tree Star is surfing through space layers … sometimes i envy her. Winnie is trying to find the last light left in the world , that which , he cant even see himself There’s a room where the light won’t find you And that room is even outside my empire Of dirt You can have it all giblo , And all my family even tough they’re aiming for my head rn , Especially you , alma… The only one that i can’t hear her silence..
” the path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell “ I mightve told many close people about this Maybe posted , or tweeted from before But if you asked about the times i dreamed about it id say over hundred The feeling that runs through the deep core of the mind that even when you cant get up , youll get up because that one certain memory is still a possibility And even if it doesnt exist now , even of i didnt reach it yet , it might be the top reason im alive , im struggling , fighting , and finding a reason to wake up , that in a far future theres still a part of me screaming of happiness And one day itll happen And ill reach there The goosebumps that jumps over my hair tells The angel signs assure it Well run And scream Well jump while singing it The world will be drown in the after math of the war And were just sit in our tree With the light lights And the light chants And when we thought that theres no place to go too And that we had lost our homes And people And well never find it again It was there And we , which never changed , were there And we screamed like its the peak of our lives Like we were the kings of the world and we were just one , one family If you read this you’re invited from now , but be good and fight well Someday , somewhere , somehow Its time to begin , isnt it ?
zaki monzer 