How could i know ?
I wander
Why are you like that ?
They ask
Or why do you watch what you watch
Read what you read
Listen what you listen
Maybe that’s who i am
But i dont know what is it
I’m certain of me
But i don’t define it
And i know it’s not that fine down here
But it is warm
Very warm
Instead all the questions that passed
The winds that passed
The people and the waves
I wanted a confirmation
That it’s fine to be like that
That I’m not a burden
Not even to myself
It means that your therapist says all the inner counterattacks rituals u do
And it means to go back
To all the nice messages that were left behind
By left people
And it means
To hear your name next to a morning message
Like it is telling you you’re here
No matter how you are
You’re here now
Whatever the person might go on with life
Whatever all these times will be remembered
Or these places will sieze to exist
Or yourself will change or not
Even if it doesn’t matter you’re here,
You’re here
With all the unsaid letters
Or the non sent goodbyes
And the unlived lives
And the not given apologies
And the unreturned smiles or cares
Maybe if you asked me instead
Why are you doing this ?
I’d say for god solely
The dream ends
The night exists
Time fades
Spaces not be anymore
Your name said will forever be lost
God stays
And maybe it’s not hard to be here at all
With all what defines you
Even if sad
You the undefined abyss
But at least you’ve got that
And you’ve get to give yourself a confirmation too
By writing
Like now
By smiling to no smiles
By waving the doors without goodbyes
By living new lives yet to be lived
By apologizing to yourself for handling too much goodness
By returning morning messages, with names beside it
And it matters for once
That its okay to be here
And its okay to not be okay
If you’re not taking care of yourself then
What are you here for ?
zaki monzer 