I run

I’m glad I’m in a place in my life when someone asks me what do you do , and i respond ” i run “.
Like im having the urge to explode all of it out,
And this urge came from when i was even a kid ,
I ran away in school
I ran away from classes
I ran away from the neighborhood and wandered through streets
I ran away from the hospital on my brother’s birth and get lost on the streets

I ran away when we were on a family trip on the snow and i just wanted to go far , far away into the white abyss…
I was a kid , i didn’t have any objective , i just wanted so…

I always as a kid used to imagine and think of plans and strategies of breaking out of home and running away , and i was really little i had noooo goal of it i was just planning and saying tomorrow I’ll do this , next week I’ll do this , I’ll just go , I’ll just begone and im just a lost kid who’s family is grieving about…

I grew up and i still wanted to break out
From my family
My social life
My country
From this world
From it all
Because you see
I lived a million lives through it all in my head
But i never lived a single life through it all
Because i don’t belong to any of it all
Im in the normal base life
I don’t belong to any space here
Sometimes my heart aches because i can’t explain how i view things , god , or life
And that im alone just watching everything from a distance …
And sometimes my heart lifts and just screams of joy,

Maybe that i belong to that unkown,
Maybe i wanna run to the time i wasn’t even born,
To that void,
To that unknown,
Now i try to run to it through my mind in the media i like,
The worlds i dive into,
And through my legs in the tears i sob , not sweat, the tears .
And maybe I’m running towards that kid on the snow..
And i wake up every morning to the same alarm “and i was running far away , would i run off the world someday ?”
Someday, somehow, somewhere , far far deep away..