I forget…

I know i don’t really think of any meaning of time
But im writing this
Maybe to myself , maybe.
It may be a fast year , but i reached rock bottom.
It may be that i didn’t do work like strive for anything, but i did alot , alot of progress and daily stuff..

Maybe now i dont remember any,
And maybe in many times i forget what happens,
The tragedy of my life that i only remember my intrusive thoughts,
I even forget myself or what i did or my world
I forget , i dont always remember , sorry god , and sorry myself,
But to try to recoil them i guess ill be a bit proud ,
I finished the quraan for the 4th time this year , 3 times this year,
I made some beautiful videos,
I made some paintings ,
I wrote here some stuff,
I did alot of good deads for many and for my friends and family daily,
I ran 5k and more for many many many days,
I watched and read alot,
I came closer(hopefully) to god,
I attended many rituals and studies,

I met beautiful people,
I left beautiful people,
And im saying alot,
Alot of which this might never get,
But i was never mad or sorry about anyone,
I was sorry about myself,
To be left .

I cleared my heart alot,
Started night prayers,
I finished my uni courses,
I played allooottttt of chess,
I made some sketches ,
I swam at sea,
I traveled for the first time,
I read maybe the most of books in a year in my life even if not alot,
I organized many things,
I learned many many stuff,
I wrote some stories on paper,
I was joyful sometimes and tried to lighten my heart to the world and to flow,
And took some good shots of memories , even if with myself only,
And i tried…
I tried.